Domain Maximus

I am not one of those MCP type guys who look down upon women. In fact I am highly appreciative of the fairer sex and believe they should be treated as equals.

This is despite the fact that they can get extremely annoying while you are watching your fave sci-fi cult movie by asking the most insane questions and refusing to buy your perfectly articulate explanations:

W: So who is that person?

S: That is the Oracle.

W: Oh my! They still need a Relational Database Management System in the future. Hmm…

S: Haha. The humour. Biting…

W: <Smug>

S: No she is is actually this computer program… in the Matrix… that you know can see the future and all… She helps Neo on his mission.

W: If she can see the future then what is the point yaar…

S: No I mean she can’t see EVERYTHING obviously. Just some things. And its not like everything she says comes true or anything. Neo can change the future if he wants to…

W: I dont see what is the big deal really. Clearly she is a sapient program that is more deterministic in her approach to foresee the future than actually dictate further action and events. Sort of a soft, tolerant rogue program that slightly accomodates errant sub-programs within the larger program architecture…

S: (Quietly contemplating on his decision to discuss the nuances of the Matrix with someone who has a degree in Information Technology.)

W: Let’s watch Lage Raho

S: Ok!

But apart from slight foibles like that women are cool.

But try telling Dick Masterson that. Dick has this bizarre blog called “Men are Better than Women” that, on further reading I discovered to my surprise, is all about one gender being better than the other. (Disclaimer: Not always pleasant or warm reading. But all text and safe for office perusal.)

As for me I think I am happy with the world the way it is. For considering that most men act like this, we don’t want to piss women off altogether.

God knows, they may all end up being able to do this one day.

Off course that does means more time with the Playstation on the weekends.

(General Marriage Sustaining Disclaimer: The W in the above exchange stands for “Woman besides wife” and that S stands for “Some guy but not Sidin”.)

Is the day when we get a cappuccino or a decaf latte direct from udder too far away?

Coming to think of it with Global Warming on the up all we really need is to get the coffee in there somehow.

It can happen right?

One day your Gameboy is running like a dream and you’re plugging away at that copy of Max Payne or Legend of Zelda or, who are we kidding, Playboy Mansion: Booty Bonanza when suddenly it happens.

Our clumsy, stupid little portable gaming console trips over the pet dog and goes crashing down the staircase. And before you can scream “Oh my god what has happened to my fave mode of handheld pleasure!” your console has a concussion and torn muscles and busted joints.

Have no fear for right here in Wadala East, in the Dosti complex, we have a store that can easily solve those problems. This is a notice outside the shop I snapped earlier this week:

Seriously. Is there ANYTHING retailers don’t think of nowadays?